That Bad Day

Today is just that. That bad day. Emotionally I’m frustrated. Mad to the point I don’t know which one to hate the most.  I’m filled with the deepest resentment. How is it possible,  that just because you’re Caucasian everything you say and do makes you right.   How is it that the sight of my black skin all credibility is lost. Today makes me feel like why the fuck do I abide by the law. Or should I create a place ungovern like them. Should I retaliate in secrecy? I’m burden by hurt. The pain to my mind causes my body to experience even more.  Today by not by choice I’m in exile. The only thing I can do to protect me is to do absolutely nothing. Work thru the emotions and disturbing feelings. It’s so disturbing for me to see how easy it is for them to use the fact that they are Caucasian as a means to telling the truth. Don’t use the race card. Shit they use that mother fucked every fucking day and it’s okay! A bitch like me has to sit as they smile in chicken shit kinda way. Talk about abuse of fucking power. I hate being powerless watching as they lie and destroy my life. I fucking got hurt on the job. What the fuck is wrong with people!  What the fuck is wrong?  I pray my God takes this hate from my heart. It’s so fucking heavy. How does anyone gain joy out of fucking misery. My complete arm hurts down to my fingers. I’m tired of writing.  Im tired of talking. I’m tired of asking someone to hear me. Tell me I’m not alone. Then with me change the dynamics of this shit. It’s all wrong.  Trust a doctor hell naw never a again fuck them. It’s all about a fuck dollar.   I promise I won’t deal with one again. Trust the law.  Tell me how? Instantly my black skin makes me untrustworthy. So where the fuck do I go? Who’s fucking there for me? Does anyone fucking listen? Does anyone care about right and wrong?  He’ll naw. So why do I keep trying to do right? Why do sit still while they wrong me? Then in my face laugh at  me. Why shouldn’t i be.? Why the fuck can’t I play fucking dirty? It’s alright for them. Why do I  even try?  I’m so very hurt by their ability to wrong me. And then together each justify it for the other. Wrong me, crucify my being. Destroy what I once thought was innocence; more ignorance.  Yeah today is that day, a bad day.  It’s sad that it’s this way. Disappointing doesn’t even come close. I’m glad God gave me the ability to write it out. Release my frustrations on paper. I’m proud to be not a vengeful person. Feeling better already. 

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